Just ride your bike

My initial plan was for this post to be written and published Thursday or Friday of last week. I wanted to use this post to discuss a prayer on my heart, a lesson God was teaching me. However, while praying about and thinking about my post’s content, I felt God guide me toward waiting so that I might also include the BIG way He was planning to show up and answer my prayer (i.e. show His power and love). So, I waited…because I’m smart like that.

Before I get into the aforementioned lesson, let me ask you a question which God has really been pressing upon my heart lately: do you only believe in God, or do you actually believe Him, too? In other words, do you truly believe, deep down, that He not only can but WILL fulfill His biblical promises in your life, just like He did for Mary or Moses or Joshua, or even Jesus? After some careful, honest self-reflection, I found that I leaned way more toward believing in God, but when it came to believing God, believing He will do for me what He says He’ll do, I doubted His promise fulfillment in my own life. It wasn’t that I thought He couldn’t do what He said He could do, it was just that I doubted He’d do those things for little ole insignificant me. I mean, I totally understand why God parted oceans for Moses…he’s Moses for crying out loud! But Lindsey? Who am I that God would move mountains, part oceans, burn bushes for me?

As I’ve told you before, I struggle with a negative outlook at times, especially during challenging times, which unfortunately dampens my faith and hinders my trusting in God’s plan and hand. This is something I’ve recognized about myself for many years, and it’s something I’ve longed to correct but felt unable to do. I recently began reading Believing God by Beth Moore, and if you struggle in this same area, I HIGHLY recommend it (even if you don’t struggle with trusting that God will do what He says He’ll do, it’s a fabulous resource). In this book, Ms. Moore posits the question I asked you earlier about whether you’ve stopped at believing in God or matured enough spiritually to believe God and His promises. Because I was spending time reflecting on where my belief truly fell, I started noticing how I approached God’s promises, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t liking what I saw.  At all.

Back to that lesson I told you about earlier. In order to really up the celebration factor for our daughter’s recent fifth birthday, my husband and I decided to surprise her with a weekend trip to Branson this past weekend. For most of you, this will seem like no big deal. Branson is only a little over two hours away, and we were only planning to stay two nights. But for us, for our little family, this was a BIG, stress-inducing deal (especially for me). Not only does our sweet girl’s food allergy situation present a really big challenge when eating out (and when eating in an unfamiliar town), but she’s never really slept away from home. She’s a HUGE fan of her own bed, and even in it, sleep it not always her friend. (Just so you understand the magnitude of this, she’s now five and we’ve slept solidly through the night maybe 15-20 times…total. In her whole life. Help me, Jesus.) My gut reaction was to give in to the fear that this trip might be exhausting and difficult and just cancel the whole thing. However, God’s really been showing me the danger of living a life where my decisions are based on my human fears and limitations, so we kept the trip on the calendar and pressed forward.

Fast forward a couple of days, past days devoted to praying my burdens over to God instead of trying to plan out every single movement myself (“Do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes.” Proverbs 3:5-7). Fast forward a couple of days where I had to remind myself literally as often as eight to ten times a day that God was in control and I wasn’t. That He was planning each minute, each circumstance, and not me. Fast forward a couple of days so that you’re in the midst of a trip that turned out far better than we could have ever expected. Did I know exactly how we were going to get our daughter to sleep each night before we got there? No, I did not. But God did. Did I know exactly what she was going to eat for each meal while we were there? No, I did not. But God did. And, friends, hear this: not only did He make sure her needs were met, but He went above and beyond (because that’s how He rolls, if you’ve not noticed). Where, besides Chick-Fil-A, was the only other place in Branson that we found where it was safe for her to eat? AT OUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT IN THAT WHOLE CITY!! Are you hearing this? Not only did we find a restaurant with menu items (plural…itemS!!) that would feed our child, but we found them at the restaurant that is our go-to, can’t-miss stop each time we’re in Branson!! God is so good! And do you know what else? We slept. Was it the most peaceful, uninterrupted sleep of all time? No, but it was fine. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. It was progress that was, without a doubt, God-ordered and constructed. As it turns out, I don’t have to have it all figured out ahead of time. God was right. If we trust Him, if we put our faith in Him and His promises, He. Will. Deliver.

During this time of trip prep and a mentally tiring cycle of feeling worried, turning that worry over to God, and blocking it from my mind, I revisited the story of Abraham in Genesis 12. In the first verse of that chapter, God instructs Abraham (Abram), saying, “Go for yourself [for your own advancement] away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you.” After promising to bless Abraham and protect him and his future descendants, verse four tells us that “…Abram departed, as the Lord had directed him.” Think about that for just a minute, what this exchange really entails. 1. God visits Abraham. 2. God tells Abraham to leave every single thing (He even lists them!) that he’s familiar with and go where God directs. 3. Abraham does as he’s instructed. Okay, hold the phone. I don’t know about you, but if this happened to me, I can PROMISE YOU that I’d need a little something extra between 2 and 3 that included the tiny detail of WHERE I AM GOING!!! What in the actual world?! Look at the faith and trust displayed by Abraham in just these verses. God doesn’t tell Abraham each step to take. God doesn’t tell Abraham the game plan or the big picture or even a tiny hint toward what He has in mind. But does that stop Abraham from trusting God and stepping out? Not one bit. Unlike me, Abraham’s faith and trust exist stronger and bigger than his desire for understanding or planning. He (again, unlike me) didn’t need to know the next step or where he’d be one week later. He didn’t ask God why. He just went. Without question and with nothing but trust. He believed God.

And, friends, this is exactly how God wants us to be, too. In Isaiah 42: 16, God promises His guidance: “I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness into light before them, and make uneven places into a plain. These things I have determined to do [for them]; and I will not leave them forsaken.” Put yourself into God’s shoes for a second. Can you imagine our reactions if He were to tell us each bump in the road we’ll face between now and heaven? We’d freeze up. We’d be so overwhelmed and disheartened we’d miss every single blessing lying in our path. So instead, God does for us what He did for Abraham: He encourages us to trust Him; He promises to be with us continuously; and He guarantees that He’ll never forget to guide us to that next blessing and through that current/next hardship.

As another surprise for our daughter’s birthday, we got her a new “big girl” bike. The morning she got it, we took her to a nearby trail so that she could ride it. People, you do not know patience at the level it took to survive this jaunt on the new bike. Without training wheels, she would have literally fallen slap-dab over from the utter lack of speed. For someone like myself who really values getting things done quickly, this was less than enjoyable. However, with some practice and after seeing that her dad really was going to be able to keep up with her (good grief!), she finally began to pedal at a decent speed. When it was all said and done, that little birthday girl rode over three miles! And she did all of that with only one fall. Her mistake was in failing to trust that her dad was by her side, like he said he’d be. Instead of keeping her eyes on the trail in front of her, she turned her head to search for him because she’d gotten worried and started to doubt that he was right with her. Then, when she turned her head, she turned her wheel, and suddenly her success turned to accident. After we got her tears dried and got her back up on her bike, I said to her, “Just ride your bike. Dad is going to be right where you are. He’s not going to forget to guide you. You look where you’re going and don’t worry about what he’s doing.” As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I heard God say to me, “How about doing the same thing yourself.” Here I was fussing at her because she wasn’t believing what her dad said, and that’s exactly what I was doing. I was planning a surprise trip and stressing over things I had no way of controlling when all I had to do was take that one step forward like Abraham and trust God to come through with the rest. Friends, our Dad is right there. He’s not going to forsake us or forget to guide us. He’s not going to let us be misled. But we have to trust Him. We have to make that forward progress, even over the bumps and uneven patches, and trust that He’s still right there with us.

I know that right now, some of you are facing something you don’t understand. You’re up against something that has you confused and worried. You don’t know what to do next or where to go from here. The good news is that God does. Take it from me, a major planner and someone who needs desperately to have figured out every detail before anything even happens. That’s not faith. Reasoning and self-reliance aren’t faith. The Bible doesn’t tell us that our reasoning and ability to solve our problems is what activates God’s power. It tell us, instead, that it’s our faith–our trust–that allows God to work most in our lives. And yes, sometimes that’s really scary because it means we don’t get to control it all. But you know what I think the future holds for me, now that I’m making every effort to let God lead? I think the future holds a lot more joy and a lot less worry and stress, and that sounds amazing. “But what joy for all who take refuge in Him!” Psalm 2:12.

Dear Lord, thank You so much for bearing my burdens for me and for creating a relationship in which trust is rewarded and valued. Help me, Lord, to trust You more. Help me to rely less on myself and to choose to put aside my worry and just take one small step at a time in faith. Second Samuel 22 tells me, Father, that Your ways are perfect, Your promises are true, and You are my shield and my protection. Press these truths onto my heart and mind, Lord, so that I desire closeness with You more than I desire to reason out and rationalize my life. Like Your Word promises, Lord, I know you will make me “sure footed as a deer” and that You will make a wide path for my feet. Thank You, God. Help me to believe You so that in the midst of the trials of life, I step back and give You the reigns. You are a loving God, and I thank You so much for loving me enough to be my Guide, my Protector, my Shield, and my Refuge. Help my trust in You to be seen by others so that they, too, might glorify You with their lives. Thank you, God, for hearing my prayer. It’s in Jesus’s name that I pray. Amen.

 

Positively Negative

Okay, let’s play a little game. Mentally, I want you to raise your hand if you’re guilty of ever having said or thought any of the following statements.

  • “That’s just my luck.”
  • “I don’t know why I expected anything but…”
  • “Well of course that happened.”
  • “I’m not gonna get my hopes up…”/ “I won’t hold my breath…”
  • “I’m worried about_____”
  • “I’m scared that________”
  • “That’s impossible.”
  • “If the way things go in my life is any indication…”

{mentally raising my hand on ALL of them}

For most of my life, especially my adult life, I have had a mindset that included some of these exact phrases or ones like them any time something was disappointing or aggravating. In just the right mood, I was learning to be a supreme pity-party thrower. However, despite all of this evidence, I still did NOT consider myself to be a negative person. I was generally in a good mood; I didn’t get mad easily; I liked almost everybody; I didn’t complain frequently or often…while at work. Seems pretty positive, right? Wrong! As it turns out, just uttering simple statements like those above can have a devastating impact on both our mindsets and our blessings.

I first began realizing my attitude was definitely more negative than positive when I heard this dreaded phrase come out of my mouth: “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” Yikes! Nothing says I’m a pessimist louder. After that utterance, it was no longer deniable, I was positively negative. In my own defense (and I recognize that it’s a shoddy one), I wasn’t a doomsday-er or a continual Negative Nancy, but I certainly felt most comfortable preparing for worst-case scenarios just in case they happened. I felt more at ease expecting less because I thought that protected me from disappointment and hurt feelings. I would pray to God about things I needed or wanted, but I kept a “well, if this doesn’t work out, I’ll just do_____” mindset throughout my waiting periods.

It wasn’t until I read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer that I began to understand that I was limiting, often even negating, my prayers with my decision to “protect myself” by expecting minimal/zero results. This might sound ridiculous, but until I read her book, it had NEVER dawned on me that I could push negative thoughts out of my head and actively replace those with positive ones. I felt like thinking that way was just who I was.  Through reading Joyce’s teachings and listening to as many of her sermons as I could on purposefully choosing what we think about (I love her phrase Think about what you’re thinking about!), I began to realize that just like any other new skill, I was going to have to learn to rewire my brain so that I could think expectantly and positively about the circumstances in my life. With Joyce’s help, and with the help of my husband who’s known this little secret for years, I slowly (and oh my goodness is it slooooow!) began retraining my mind to allow for more positive thinking, to allow for more blessings to be released in my life, and to allow God to work in me and my life in a way in which I’d previously been shutting Him out.

As with any lesson I’m led to by the Holy Spirit, I find it sticks with me better and transforms me more fully if I take time to study what the Bible says about this concept for myself. One portion of scripture that really stuck with me, and to which I’ve returned numerous times since, is the story of Moses, Aaron, Joshua, and Caleb. While continuing to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land, Moses sent ten men into the land of the Caananites to see what that land possessed. Upon returning from their scouting trip, all of the men reported that the land was good, saying, “…surely it flows with milk and honey” (Numbers 13:27). That was the good news. The bad news? The land was populated with large, strong residents (basically giants), and the city itself was highly fortified. Those Israelites were a bunch of Grumbling Gusses (takes one to know one!), so of course, that bit about the giants and the well-armed city caught their attention way more than that milk and honey part. The Bible tells us, though, that Caleb spoke up, encouraging with his positive attitude: “Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, Let us go up at once and possess it; we are well able to conquer it” (13:30). Hear that again, what positive thoughts allow you to declare: we are well able to conquer it. But his co-scouts–Joshua not included–didn’t share in his positive thinking. Instead, they allowed the negativity to consume them. “So they brought the Israelites an evil report of the land…saying, The land through which we went to spy it out is a land that devours its inhabitants. And all the people that we say in it are men of great stature…and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight” (vs. 32, 33).

Let’s take just a second to evaluate their words in these two verses. First of all, I see nary a mention of the goodness of that land, the milk and honey they mentioned after returning (I think it’s even worth noting that, upon their immediate return, they mentioned the milk and honey before ever discussing the inhabitants). Instead, their entire focus is the challenges they face. I see no evidence of their faith, do you? I see no proof that they believe God is with them. I see no decisions being made to trust God’s sovereignty. (How very much like these negative naysayers I am when things aren’t sunny!) One thing I do see is how they described themselves, their own power, and their own ability: as grasshoppers. Powerless, tiny, completely inadequate creatures in the face of so very many things. But it’s not just that they thought themselves to be like grasshoppers; they got so consumed with negativity regarding their own insignificance that they transferred that vision onto the people of Canaan. Look at that verse, at the way that last line is written: “…we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.” Did they go up and talk to these people? No. Did they get beaten down by them, mentally or physically? Nope. Did they have any encounter with the Canannites at all? Nuh-uh. But because they were so negatively minded and so focused on the perceived problem in front of them instead of the God whose hand was over them, their minds were altered. They created problems and false “truths” because of their negativity.

This story begs the question, how many times have we prevented our own entry into a land of great blessing, a land of milk and honey as it were, because we decided we KNEW what was going to happen instead of taking it to God, keeping our eyes and minds stayed on Him, and letting Him walk us through it? To be honest, it’s upsetting to me to think what I’ve likely missed out on in my past because of my negativity, but in greater measure I’m motivated not to EVER let this type of thinking control me anymore. Expecting the worst, preparing for the worst, limiting myself to mediocre faith…none of that protects me. It doesn’t protect me at all. What it does do is prevent me. It prevents me from receiving the abundant blessings that my faith earns. It prevents me from maintaining my joy. And, most importantly, it prevents me from being a good, useful witness for the Jesus who died to give me this incredible life that I live. Sure it’s hard sometimes, and sure, like Moses and Aaron and the other guys, we’re going to face some giant challenges in an effort to get to our Promised Land, but how much sweeter will that Promised Land be because of what we’ve come through to get there? And how much stronger will our faith be, how much closer will our relationship with God be, when we’ve walked through those hard times together?

So, what if you’re a Negative Nancy by nature, like me, and you don’t want to be? First of all, admitting it is the first step. (That expression is SO overused, but it’s overused for a reason. It’s right!) Second, don’t expect to change overnight. You can ask my husband, I have been diligently working on this within myself over the last 4+ years, and I’m just now starting to really have something to show for my work. Real progress takes time, and this is a mindset you’ve likely been cultivating for years. Be patient with yourself and don’t get frustrated when you don’t “snap out of it” right away. And most importantly, pray for God’s help with this area of your life. Imagine how pleased He’ll be that you want a better thought-life and a bigger faith! Read what He’s said to you in the Bible about this very topic. Before I started seeking God’s Word about my negative mind, I had no idea that so many biblical principles centered on the fact that the mind controls so much of our lives.

If you’ve been in church very long (or if you’ve been on the Internet for longer than two weeks), you’re probably familiar with Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” Just think what those Negative Ned Israelites could’ve accomplished had this verse been what came out of their mouths! How about you and I do better than they did. When we’re faced with adversity, let’s remember Who is really in charge and Whose strength is really at work.

Another great reminder of the importance of getting our minds right is Romans 12:2, “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to be transformed. As I am, it’s not good. But with Jesus and the grace and power He brings to the table, I can be made more like Him every day. And where does that start? With the renewing of my mind. Inside my own head. It begins with taking “captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5) so that I can do what Paul instructs in Phil. 4:8, and fix my thoughts at all times and in all situations “on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable…think[ing] about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Call me crazy, but that sure sounds a lot less like focusing on those giants and a lot more like centering on that milk and honey in our lives, don’t you think?

Dear Lord, thank you so very, very much for the wonderful life you’ve given me. Help me, Lord, not to be so negative in my thoughts that I create problems and fail to see You at work on my behalf. I pray today, God, that You would help me recognize these thoughts when I have them so that I can do as You’ve instructed and take them captive, exchanging them for positive, Christ-like thoughts until it’s these that become habit. Father, I trust You and I love you, and I so desire to have thoughts that please you, no matter the challenges I face. Help me to pay attention to the words that I think, the words that I say, and the focus of my mind. Thank you for helping me through each step of this important change in my life. Thank you for hearing me. In Jesus’s name I pray this prayer, Lord. Amen.

 

 

“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.”  –Francesca Reigler

 

 

Healing Shmealing

I recently came across a quote online that I thought was hilarious, and, sadly, perfectly fitting for how I’ve been feeling lately. It said, “Welcome to adulthood, I hope you like ibuprofen.” The truth in this silly statement is too accurate. Who knew being this side of 40 could demand so much pain killer?! And those of you “more mature” readers who are tutting and saying things like just you wait, hush your mouths. I do not want to hear it.

In order for you to know where I’m coming from, you need a little background, but I honestly do NOT want to share it. It’s ridiculous. I’d love to tell you that my pain emanates forth from a chronic injury that I received whilst saving ill orphans from near death (they’d all be happy and healthy and flourishing right now, no doubt). But instead, I will tell the truth (booo!). One day, a little over a year ago, I got up off the couch after reading during my daughter’s nap-time and felt like I had taken a HUGE fall straight onto the hardest concrete on my tailbone. It’s never been the same since. (Did you catch that? I got a chronic injury SITTING ON THE COUCH AND READING!) After medical professionals (um, yep, more than one of those guys) determined it wasn’t technically my tailbone but apparently something else undetectable by two MRIs, at least one x-ray, six weeks of twice-a-week physical therapy, and some pretty uncomfortable examining, I decided that there was nothing to do but deal with it…and complain frequently, of course. I am a real person.

After a few months, the tailbone pain was gone, and it stayed gone for quite some time. Until a few weeks ago. Not sure what I did–apparently sitting is WAY more dangerous than I knew–but the exact same tricky pain was back. I knew that going to the doctor wasn’t an option. Not only are those little trips nutso-expensive, but what exactly were they going to tell me this time that they couldn’t tell me the times before? I felt really frustrated and definitely in a funk because the pain was such that it negatively affected my sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable. Plus, I remembered. I remembered what it was like when I had this pain before, and for some inexplicable reason, knowing I’d had it before, knowing I was option-free as far as medical care was concerned, and knowing how uncomfortable I was going to feel until it left of its own accord really snatched my joy away.

Friends, we’ve all been here before, haven’t we? We are hurting…physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. We ache. We press on. We feel burdened. We feel helpless. We reach out to friends or family or doctors or therapists or pastors or even strangers. I was doing the same. I was reading things online. (Did you know that tailbone pain is a possible symptom for a multitude of nefarious diseases? Did you know that it’s possible to have what doctors call “unexplained tailbone pain” that lasts for years and has no real cause or treatment?! What is that mess?) I was complaining to my husband. We were praying about my issue, but with statements like Lord, please help Lindsey’s tailbone pain to go away. While those prayers are certainly better than no prayers, they’re not exactly what you’d call boldly approaching the throne of God. Then, after we prayed, I’d wake up the next morning mentally crossing my fingers that I’d suddenly be healed and all would be well. You’ve been there, too, right? You wake up each day so hopeful that your ailments from the night before are no longer. Then you realize they’re fully present. You still hurt…physically or mentally or emotionally (or all three). And now, because you feel like God’s not heard you, because you feel alone in your pain, you hurt spiritually. Your pain grows. And doubt and unbelief grow.

I’m saddened that it took me until this point to realize I had consulted everyone but God (aside from a quick prayer for healing) regarding my need for pain relief. I knew that I needed to get real serious with my prayers, but I felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting me to see what the Bible said about healing first. So, I got my pen and my notebook and copied down all the verses that my Bible categorized as dealing with “Health and Healing.” (For those of you dealing with your own pain and interested in these scriptures, I’ll type them up for you at the bottom of this post, underneath our closing prayer.) What I found in these scriptures was a promise from God Himself to be with me, to renew my body so that I could rejoice in the glory of His healing.

Here’s what the first day of my newfound strategy for jump-starting my healing looked like: Wake up. Realize tailbone is not healed. Instead of getting bogged down in woe-is-me attitude, decide to read those scriptures out loud and believe for my healing. Read said scriptures. Wait 25 seconds. Do quick assessment in which I realize no angels visited and healed me, no bright lights shone, and nothing feels differently. Allow more negative thoughts to creep in while muttering such uplifting phrases as healing shmealing and yeah, right. I’m not a total dunce, so it didn’t take me long to figure out that this wasn’t going to work. I decided to keep doing what I was doing right, which was praying sincerely and speaking scripture out loud over my need. The attitude, however, had to go.

I had 11 verses that I used, but it was Isaiah 58:8 that I clung to most. It reads, “Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration…) shall spring forth speedily.” The speedily part was definitely what I liked best about this verse, but I realized with each reading that my biggest problem was that I fully expected God to work immediately, not speedily. I expected immediate gratification from a God whose timetable has never been our own. I’ve written past posts about what it means to wait on God, how important it is, because His timing isn’t ours and what’s lengthy to us is but a drop in the bucket for Him. Yet when hurting, no amount of relief mattered and no timetable mattered to me if it wasn’t full and immediate. Of all those 11 verses my Bible grouped for me, would you believe that not a single one said anything about healing coming immediately OR all at once?

I had gotten so selfish in my thinking, and I don’t even really know how or why or when it happened. I had somehow decided that healing only counted if it was instant and complete at the moment I prayed. I was giving no thought and no praise to God for that morning when I woke up and still hurt, but it hurt less than the day before. God literally had to say to me, just because you’re not 100% doesn’t mean I’m not working. Just because you’re not healed all at once doesn’t mean I’m not working on you and binding up those wounds you’re praying over (Psalm 147:3). Why did it take me so long to get that? Why was I shocked at this simple revelation? God is working. God is moving. I’m hurting, but that doesn’t mean God’s not in the process of fixing me. I asked; He’s mid-answer, but I’m so busy grumbling I don’t even notice or hear Him.

And this isn’t just the way it works for those of us suffering physical pain. Some of us are in the throes of gut-wrenching emotional pain. Some of us physically hurt because our mental anguish is so fierce. God is working, y’all. If you’ve come before Him and called on Him to heal your hurting spirit or your hurting heart, HE IS WORKING FOR YOU RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. You may not feel better tomorrow, but He’s still at work within you. It might take a little bit, but don’t do what I’ve done and assume that because He doesn’t fix you the second you pray and your pain relief is only gradual that He’s busy doing other things. He’s not. He feels what you feel. He understands, and He’s actively involved in healing you. All of you. Aches and hurts and wounds you have carried for years or maybe didn’t even know you’ve had.

I felt the peace come over me, that glorious internal peace found only in walking alongside God and His will, as soon as I decided to quit trying to make God so “on or off,” when I quit pushing my pitiful, impatient timetable onto Him. When I simply kept up the Biblical strategies of bold prayer and speaking scripture but left everything else to Him. That was about two to three weeks ago. I’m not 100%, but I’m honestly 95% better than I was then. If you’re hurting, no matter what kind of pain you’re struggling with, hand it over. Seek those doctors and specialists (but only after praying for God’s guidance about what to do and where to go and who to see!), but don’t expect human healing before expecting supernatural healing from the ultimate Physician and Healer. And maybe our most important lesson of all, in anything really, is that feeling God working and believing God is working may not be mutually exclusive. It’s our job as His children to believe BEFORE we feel. Slow progress is still progress.

(Just a reminder that below the prayer are the scriptures my Bible listed under “Health and Healing” if you’re interested.)

Dear Lord, thank you so much for all the promises You’ve made to me within Your Word regarding healing. Thank you that when I come to You for healing, You WILL heal me. Help me to trust Your ways and not attempt to put human constraints around the ways in which You work. Help me to choose belief, even before I start feeling any better. Be with my pain, Lord, and take it away completely. Give me the strength and good countenance to endure it well while You work full healing in my life. I trust you, Lord. I know that You are at work. In advance, I thank you and praise You for my healing, which I know is right around the corner. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

Health and Healing Scriptures

Psalm 30:2–O Lord my God, I cried to You and You have healed me.

Psalm 103:3–…Who heals [each one of] all your diseases

Psalm 107:20–He sends forth His Word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.

Psalm 147:3–He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].

Proverbs 4:22–[My Words] are life to those who find them and health to all their flesh.

Isaiah 58:8–Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration…) shall spring forth speedily.

Jeremiah 17:14–Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.

Jeremiah 30:17–For I will restore health to you, and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord.

James 5:15–And the prayer [that is] of faith will save him who is sick, and the Lord will restore him

I Peter 2:24–By His wounds, you have been healed.

3 John 2–…that you may prosper in every way and that [your body] may keep well…

 

 

That Dreaded Dread

Since starting this blog, I’ve realized that the devil has a tendency to make me put my money where my mouth is by tempting me with whatever issue I’ve most recently discussed. He didn’t have to work too hard this past week, however, because worry is something I struggle with regularly. After the last post, I have tried to be very aware of slipping back into the “comfort” of worrying, but I’ve noticed that I’ve still not experienced the joy that I know God has in mind for me. And I know why. You see, this coming Tuesday my sweet, not-so-tiny-anymore girl starts Pre-K, and while I’m so excited to see her grow and learn, I am also aware that her tendency toward nervousness and anxiety might get high during this new season of our lives. I know myself, though, and I know that if I allow myself to worry, I’ll be irritable and grumpy come Tuesday morning, so I’ve been praying and asking God to just be with us as we begin this new chapter. I feel like, more than any time before, I’ve kept the worry under control. And apparently, this success isn’t a big favorite of Satan’s because he’s wormed his way in in a different way. I realized as the days passed I was very aware of each day and its nearness to Tuesday. I noticed that I was both clock-watching and calendar-watching, and neither was being done with a cheerful, positive heart and mind. I wasn’t worried, though, so I felt confused. Then it dawned on me–I was being visited by Worry’s equally thieving cousin, Dread. I wasn’t obsessing (per my usual) over possible issues that might arise come Tuesday. I wasn’t thinking and rethinking every single moment of Tuesday to make sure that no small detail slipped through the cracks and ruined our day. I did, however, simply dread the first day, and even the weeks until attending Pre-K no longer felt new. Needless to say, I took that dread straight to Jesus and asked Him to fill me with His peace and His grace so that I could enjoy each day, especially this long weekend, without Dread hanging over my shoulder.

I would love to tell you that this is my first battle with Dread stealing my joy before I ever get the chance to experience it, but it’s not. Like everyone, I’ve had events and moments in life that I have spent the days and minutes leading up to them hanging out with Dread: God-ordained break-ups, college exams, job interviews, surgeries, the pain of childbirth, every. single. dentist appointment, funerals, social events of varying kinds, etc. The kind of dread I experienced at those times were fleeting–once the circumstances were over or once the waiting was over and the event began, other emotions took over and Dread was history. At the risk of sounding absolutely awful and like the worst mother on the planet, I’m going to say this: it wasn’t until I became the mom of an infant that I entered into a daily, intimate relationship with Dread. In our defense, brand new parenthood in the Thomas household wasn’t exactly what many experience. All of those new parent challenges were amped up tenfold. We NEVER slept (we figured it up, and I slept 10 1/2 hours for the first SEVEN DAYS of being a mom!), we NEVER relaxed, and we NEVER knew what to do to help our sleepless, bothered, hurting baby. During this time, when I got up somewhere around ten times every night and got up each morning around 5:00 a.m., I began to dread each day. I loved my sweet baby, but I did NOT love what we were all going through. Because of our own decision to wait and have kids, coupled with a six year infertility struggle, Nathan and I had been married for almost ten years before becoming parents. Ten years is plenty of time to get very comfortable with a particular way of life. It’s plenty of time to get very comfortable being self-serving. When this tiny human came into our lives and changed EVERY SINGLE THING while also presenting very atypical challenges, it was, to say the least, not easy. What was pretty easy was letting Dread camp out in my life. I dreaded the morning because it meant a whole day’s worth of challenges was just getting started. I dreaded each feeding because they always created problems, each one unique and without easy answers. I dreaded nap times because my baby never slept more than a few minutes at a time, and I spent those minutes feverishly trying to clean or shower or eat or do laundry. I dreaded the afternoon because it brought exhaustion–both mine and hers–and it meant dinnertime was nearing and I was going to have to try to get supper on the table while also attending to this baby who I could NOT soothe. I dreaded the night because it was so long and so challenging and so full of wakefulness with zero rest.

One morning around 5:30 am, while out for a walk with my refusing-to-sleep baby, I realized that if I continued to dread each moment of each day, I was going to open my eyes one day and she was going to be grown. I was going to spend so much time with Dread that I was going to miss each precious stage of her life. I remember praying right then, as I pushed that stroller, for God to help me get a handle on dread. He helped me see that if I dreaded teething, eventually it would stop and it would be replaced by something like potty-training. And if I dreaded potty-training, it would be over and I would replace that with whatever new challenge we were facing. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, there will always be something to dread if you let yourself. I’d like to say that suddenly, at that magical, spiritual moment I was touched by God and delivered wholly from my sins of worry and dread, but I’m no liar. I began praying to God when I felt those emotions, asking Him to help me find His peace and loosen this stronghold over my life.

Aside from reading my Bible and focusing special attention to verses discussing God’s peace, I began paying careful attention to my thoughts and my attitudes—something I really wasn’t doing at all. I noticed that what started as dread was morphing quickly into depression. I was feeling sad and discontent and jealous of others who did normal things with their new babies…like sleep. I also noticed how often I revisited the “days of old” in my mind, especially when things were tough. It was with shocking frequency that I longed for how things used to be, before all of these new challenges began. Like I said, I loved my baby. I wanted that sweet girl. But I so badly wanted the sleeplessness, the fussiness, the belly troubles, the doctor visits, the teething, the fill-in-the-blank to stop, that my “refuge” was to spend so much time reliving the life I used to have that I began to literally ache for what my life used to be. It was during this time that God brought my attention to Isaiah 43:18-19: “Do not remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Y’all!!! The salve that was this scripture! Not only did I feel like I was floundering utterly alone in the wilderness, but it was such a VERY dry time that terming it a desert was too oasis-y for what I was feeling. To have God speak directly to me in this way and remind me that no matter what it felt like, I could believe and KNOW that He was right there. To have God speak and tell me that all of what I was going through was His plan and had a purpose was knee-buckling. To be honest, it was at this very moment that I felt my life shifting and felt God moving more than ever before.

Again, I’d love to tell you that I was so anointed by God’s promises that Dread was eradicated from my life, that my spirit never again worried or dreaded the days and challenges before me. I struggled. I struggled big for a lot longer. (Psst, I still struggle) But each time when I thought I was literally at the end of my rope, God would direct me to scriptures like Philippians 3:13: “…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” It was through little moments like these where I realized I was once again living in a past life, a season that was over, dead and buried. A season I’d never have again. And it wasn’t until I decided that I was going to do what Paul suggested and let go of that past that I began to make progress in my future. Only a few months after I began living in the here and now, trusting God for the future and His decision to move me out of that former life of comfort, things finally began to progress. We learned that our sweet girl had some previously undiagnosed food allergies, she had some food intolerances, but the biggest breakthrough was just before her third birthday when, after a two-night stay at Children’s Hospital, we discovered the FIFTEEN stomach ulcers that were living in her belly. Once that issue was addressed and medicines were put into place, there’s no describing the improvements that continue to arrive and amaze us.

There is no way to include the NUMEROUS ways in which God showed His hand over us during all of these circumstances, especially those few days leading up to our hospital stay and diagnosis. With distance from this painful, scary time, I’ve continued to watch God’s plan play out in our lives. We still face challenges that get to me sometimes (those food allergies are NO JOKE), but I have found that when compared to what many other moms and dads are facing, we have nary a thing to complain about or to dread. The me of three years ago would have slapped myself silly over the audacity to dread something so simple and trivial as the starting of Pre-K. I would have been so happy to have something so minor on my mind. Can you imagine how many parents out there feel the same?

Dread is a thief, and he’s the jerky first cousin of Worry, two feelings I seem to struggle with more than the others. Thankfully, though, I have a God who has enough grace and mercy to walk me carefully through those feelings so that I am filled up with faith and joy and peace. Now, when I feel that dreaded Dread (is that a thing? Can I say that and it make sense? ), instead of reaching for those memories of how things used to be, I reach for my Bible. I reach for scriptures like Luke 9:62, where my Savior speaks directly to me, carefully reminding me that my life is not in the rearview. It is not in the future. It is here, right in this moment, and if I spend my time and energy worry about or dreading the future or aching over the past, I will miss all of the blessings waiting right here in the now. “Jesus said to him, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back [to the things behind] is fit for the kingdom of God. I don’t know about you, but I certainly want to be fit for the kingdom of God.

Dear Lord, thank you for my life. Thank you for all of the blessings, both big and small, that You put in my every day. I ask that you help me kick dread to the curb so that I can live abundantly as You have planned. Please help me not to let my past hamper my present or my future. Thank you for forgiving me for living in the past and for not trusting You with my future as I should. When I feel overwhelmed, help me to turn to You and Your Word, Lord, so that You can remind me of the ways in which I should go. I love you, and I am so grateful that You have put my past behind me–even the good parts–so that You can do a mighty work in my future. Thank you, Lord, for the challenges I face and the opportunities they present for my growing in You. I trust YOU, and I walk confidently into what You have in store for me. In Jesus’s name–Amen.

Ceiling-hitters

If I asked you to make a list of sins off the top of your head, you’d likely list many of the larger, more recognizable sins: murder, theft, adultery. You might even hit a few of those sneakier ones like coveting, idol-worship, unforgiveness, and maybe even gossip. But one highly detrimental sin that would likely be left off of most lists would be worry. Maybe you’ve known for years that worry is a sin, but for me, I honestly didn’t really grasp that truth until just a few shorts years ago. It wasn’t until I became a mom and started an hourly/daily battle with {frequently overpowering} worry that I discovered I needed a better understanding of what God says about worry and the damage it causes.

If you’re reading this blog, I think I’m safe in assuming that if I were to walk up to you and ask, point blank, do you believe in God? your answer would be a solid yes. If I asked you, do you believe that the Bible is true? I bet I’d get another strong yes. It’s possible your answer to do you trust God? might be a little more wavering, especially if you’ve suffered rejection at the hands of others in your life, but I bet it’s still pretty close to yes. And finally, if I asked you, do you worry? an emphatic yes! would be what I’d get, wouldn’t it? Herein lies the rub, as Shakespeare would say. (What is up, English teachers?! Rejoice heartily at the Shakespearean reference!) As believers, we cannot both trust God and worry. Those two things aren’t friends. We either trust God–His Word, His promises, His goodness, His hand, His will–or we don’t. Again, I’m assuming, but I think I’m safe here when I say that we would NEVER verbally doubt God, especially in the presence of others, but don’t we do that ALL THE TIME and straight in the “face” of God when we choose to worry and fear over relaxing, being soulfully at peace, and trusting God?

If you are someone who struggles with worry, I highly recommend pretty much any resource by Joyce Meyer (especially Battlefield of the Mind). In a couple of her books, she has addressed the sin of worry in a way that has helped me really see it for what it is: doubt, mistrust, and disbelief in the power and goodness of God. The way she explains it is this: when we have a worry or concern, as a believer it is our job to take it to God in prayer. That prayerful petition between you and God is a positive action. It transforms your mind so that you’re focused on the positive power of God. Worry, on the other hand, is a negative action. It is in direct opposition to the positive power created by prayer. So, what this says to me is if I pray about my worries BUT I continue to worry about them instead of giving them over to God in exchange for peace, my negative worry actually cancels out that positive I had working for me because of my prayer. In other words, my power is essentially lost to the negative side because I’ve chosen worry over faith. My decision to worry soaks up all my spiritual energy and focus; therefore, there is none left for the faith required to allow my prayer to work.

The really good news here is that our human propensity for worry isn’t a surprise for God. He knows that we tend to worry, that we tend to stress, that we really struggle to hand our concerns and cares over to Him, without returning frequently to pick them back up again and worry over them some more. He was so prepared for our strong desire to handle things ourselves that He’s filled His Word with instruction after instruction to help us see worry as the sin that it is, and more importantly, make the decision to eliminate it from our lives permanently. There are multiple verses sprinkled throughout the Old Testament, but it’s in the books of the New Testament where we really see strong input from Jesus with regard to worry in the hearts and minds of His followers. In Matthew 6:31, Jesus cares for his stressed flock by telling them, “Therefore, do not worry or be anxious (perpetually uneasy),” and He follows these instructions only three verses later by expounding on His original words: “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of  its own” (vs. 34). The subject of worry gets even more attention in Mark 4:19 when we are told WHY worry is such a problem for the people of God: “…but the worries and cares of the world…creep in and choke out the Word, and it becomes unfruitful.” Wow, y’all. This is serious! If we let worry get ahold of us–in our minds and our spirits–it becomes so strong and forceful that it chokes out the truths and promises of the Word, forcing us to focus only on it. Worry turns our eyes from God and puts them onto our problem (or if you’re like me, your perceived problem…because frequently I’ll worry about a problem I don’t even have yet!).

You know how I mentioned that God’s not surprised by our worry and fear? He’s SO not surprised that He’s included a Biblical reminder for every single day of the year! Check this out: did you know that God instructs His children to “fear not” (that counts for worry, too) 365 times in the Bible? Are you also aware that there are 365 days in a year? Ta-da! God knows. What we seem to forget is that we have an instruction manual at our fingertips that guides us through this sometimes-harrowing thing we call life. It gives us detailed steps for handling the worry and fear and dread and upset that comes with being a human being on planet Earth. It’s really pretty simple: 1. Choose to trust God. 2. Continually pray, taking all of your cares and concerns to God while believing He will handle them for you (1 Peter 5:7). 3. Do not be anxious about anything. Be thankful. Be prayerful. Don’t let yourself worry (Phil. 4:6). As difficult as it seems, the good news is that we do have a choice about worry. We can wallow around in our worried thoughts, telling ourselves that we’re just “being prepared” or “being a good parent.” We can think situations through over and over and over and over and over and…you get my point. But you know what? WE ARE STILL SINNING! God is in control. God has always been in control. A favorite Joyce Meyer quote says, “The truth is we’ve never been in control when it comes to life’s crucial elements. We’ve always been dependent on the grace of God to carry us through.” We have never been in control. Gracious. If we could just get over ourselves (“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Prov. 3:5-6) . If we could just remember that worry does NOTHING for us (“And who of you by worrying can add one hour to his life?” Matt. 6:27). If we could just decide that maybe our being in control isn’t really best for us or our families or our kids anyway.  I mean, if given the choice, wouldn’t you really rather God be in control?

A few months ago, while I was getting my hair done, my hairdresser Jill and I were having a conversation about this very topic: worry. I had recently been reading about it in both the Bible and Joyce Meyer’s works, and I was sharing with her the analogy that a prayer is a positive and a worry is a negative that completely cancels out the power of that prayer. Jill helped me see this in an even clearer manner when she said that it’s her belief that those prayers we issue while still worrying or attempting to control the situation ourselves just hit the ceiling, falling right back down. I thought this was such an excellent visual for me, given I was struggling to let go of the worry despite my full understanding that it was sinful. I came home from that haircut with a new way of thinking about what worry does to the power I possess as a believer. The power that Jesus DIED to give me. Those prayers that hit the ceiling because our faith is so limited and our worry is so prevalent simply fall right back down on us, on our backs, where we struggle not to buckle under their pressure and weight. Because we refuse (or fail) to turn those cares over to God (His plan, His timing, His methods), we lug those burdensome cares around with us: the heaviness of the responsibility, the discontentment, the anger, the jealousy, etc. The weight of whatever it is that we’re not trading to God in return for His peace, “the peace that transcends all understanding” (Phil. 4:7).

Real prayers release things. They release our gratitude, our worries, our stresses, and they release God’s power because we bow before Him, humbling ourselves to His power, His plan, and His solutions for our problems. Real prayers don’t fall back on us. They don’t weigh us down. They lighten our load, lifting our spirits and our faces to the glory of God. Those prayers that come back on us? Those aren’t real prayers. Those are simply disguised complaints. Adult-style fussing. Because if we talk to God about our worries only to turn around and wear the weight of them anyway, aren’t we really just talking to ourselves?

Dear Lord, I am so grateful that as your child, I don’t have to walk through life controlling every detail and leaning on my own abilities. I ask you, Father, to please help me bring my worries and concerns to you and leave them there with you. Help me to no longer pray, then worry, then pray, then worry. Lord, I want to break this cycle of taking back my prayers and believing I’m more competent than You. Thank you for loving me and for being my helper in all aspects of life. I give you my life, Lord. I give you my marriage. I give you my kid(s). I do not want to run the show. I want to simply love you, honor you, and trust you with EVERYTHING. Help me to recognize when I’m choosing worry because it feels safe and familiar so that I might change direction and choose faith. Thank you for hearing my prayer. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

 

 

Dry Bones

After being prayerful about what God would have me discuss in this blog post, I was lost. I had no ideas and felt that no topic was “the one” He was leading me to write about. Then I was peeling boiled eggs, talking to God (don’t act like you don’t talk to God while you peel your eggs!), and explaining that I was really trying but coming up empty. I said to Him, “God, I am trying to hear from you about this blog, but I’ve got nothing. My idea tank is bone dry.” And God replied, “How about you start there, with dry bones?” Can you believe that mess? He’s amazing. So I got out my Bible, turned to Ezekiel, and guess what? God led me straight toward what I felt He needed me to say in this post.

If you aren’t familiar with the story of Ezekiel and the dry bones, I highly recommend that you take a minute or two to read it for yourself. It’s a quick chapter but speaks volumes about the power God bestows in us when we speak His Word over our circumstances. The portion of the Bible we’ll focus on today is from Ezekiel 37, and before we start talking about what it means for you and me in today’s world and in everyday life, let’s look at the first few verses:

“The hand of the Lord was upon me, and He brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones. (2) And He caused me to pass around among them, and behold, there were very many [human bones] in the open valley or plain, and behold, they were very dry. (3) And He said to me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, You know! (4) Again He said to me, Prophesy to these bones and say to them, O you dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. (5) Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath and spirit to enter you, and you shall live.”

Clearly, our friend Ezekiel was in a bad spot. You’ll notice in verse two that the bones surrounding him were very dry. I think it’s fully worth noting that God takes time out to specifically address the condition of these bones. These are not the bones from recent deaths. These are bones that have long been without skin and sinew, bones that are no longer in the process of drying out but that are very, very dry. We, too, find ourselves at times within our lives surrounded by our own “very dry bones.” What “dry bones” do you have in your life right now? What elements of your life have you essentially given up on, deeming them unable to be revived:

  • your love for your spouse?
  • your attraction to your spouse?
  • your marriage?
  • your health?
  • a friendship?
  • a relationship with a family member?
  • your finances?
  • your job?
  • your future?
  • your compassion?
  • your attitude?
  • your personal relationship with Jesus?
  • your gratitude?
  • your belief?
  • your trust?
  • your hope?
  • your belief in yourself?
  • your purpose?

You know what, no matter which of these areas you find that have dried up in your life (or some other area not even listed), Ezekiel teaches us exactly what to do. It’s time to quit living in the desert and start using God’s Word and His promises to bring life back to our circumstances. Let’s learn from Ezekiel, shall we?

Take a look back at verse one. No doubt that being surrounded by all of this death and dryness and barren landscape was a scary place. We’ve all been there–and maybe you’re there right now. It’s lonely. It’s isolating. It’s even terrifying at times. But notice what Ezekiel says from the very start: “The hand of the Lord was upon me.” Guess what…the hand of the Lord is upon you, too! He’s right there, waiting to guide you through your own personal desert, just like He was for Ezekiel. I know it might not feel like it, and I know it probably doesn’t look like it, but God is in the midst of this with you. Ezekiel didn’t see signs of life, either. He didn’t stand face-to-face with God, but he knew to trust God despite his circumstances, to believe that God was present despite the disparity of the situation. So on our mission to bring life back to our dead areas, it seems to me that a good first step is to choose to believe that God is right here with us.

Next, let’s think about our attitudes toward whatever it is that seems dead in our life, our feelings toward our spouse, our jobs, or our marriage, etc. Are we approaching God, asking and expecting Him to revive us? Are we trusting that He can breathe new life into our troubled areas? Or are we grumbling to anyone and everyone who’ll listen, complaining about our spouse or our finances or our coworkers? In verse three, God refers to Ezekiel as “Son of man,” and when we let our doubt and our discouragement and our resentment take hold and dry out various areas of our lives, that’s exactly what we are: sons of man. Plain ole powerless humans, with no ties to the power and supernatural ability of a God who can fix anything that needs fixing. In this verse, God asks Ezekiel a question, and Ezekiel replies by saying, essentially, “I don’t know, God. You’re the one who knows everything. Why don’t you just tell me?” I’ve been there…haven’t you? I’ve been hopeless, convinced of all those lies that the devil has told me, sure of the fact that I’m alone and that there’s nothing that will get me past my set of circumstances. Determined to wallow in my distress and make sure everyone knows just how hard I have it…just how dry my bones are. (Makes me cringe just thinking about my attitude and my serious lack of gratitude during these times.)

Look at what God tells Ezekiel to do: “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, O you dry bones, hear the word of the Lord” (vs. 4). Y’all, nothing is going to change in our lives, no life is going to reenter these dead areas, until we tell these areas about the might and promises of our God! We must be active; we must speak the Word of God over these problems. Grumbling and complaining removes our power, keeping our hopes and our lives dry. But as we can see in the Word, we’ve been given the power to speak life back into our hollow hearts and/or circumstances. Use it! Don’t let Satan fill your head and your heart so full of lies that God’s promises turn to dust. Fuss right back at him. Declare the power of Jesus and the might of His blood over your desert! Remind that devil and those dry bones in your life what the Bible says. With our faith and our decision NOT to give in the those feelings of death and hopelessness, we are promised that God will be there, that His presence will reinvigorate our lives: “Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath and spirit to enter you, and you shall live” (vs. 5). So that attraction for your spouse that you swear is gone and will never get back? Nonsense. God can and will breathe life back into that relationship. That job that you feel is going nowhere, that you dread going to every morning? God can rectify that dryness, too. Have a health concern that you’ve been dealing with for months or years without any relief? Speak those promises of God over yourself and your condition. Believe in the presence of the Lord and His ability to make those dry bones stand up and walk.

Friends, there is nary a situation, no matter how destitute it might appear, that God can’t breathe life back into when we ask and truly believe. However, we can’t ask God to work while also holding tight to a “woe is me” attitude, full of grumbling and complaining. Take a lesson from the Israelites in the desert with Moses: their journey was one that should’ve taken 11 days, but because of their poor attitudes full of ingratitude and their choice to focus on their problems instead of their God, they spent FORTY YEARS in their wilderness. Thankfully, you and I do not have to do the same. We don’t have to passively wait around for our situation to change. We don’t have to spend our time trying to figure out why it’s happened or what we did wrong or which aspects we can blame on someone else. If we are surrounded by dry bones in any area of our life, it’s OUR job to breathe new life into it. It’s OUR job to read the Scriptures and learn what God says about His promises for our lives, and it’s OUR job to speak those promises out loud over these desert-like conditions we’re facing. It’s very, very hard to hear God, to sense His mighty presence, when our heads are so full of the noise of our own complaints. You are better than that. You deserve better than that. And you serve a God who provides blessings so much better than the dry, brittle bones of our lives that we’ve allowed to remain for far too long. Let’s decide that this stops now: our poor attitudes, our hardened hearts, our hopelessness. Speak life over those dry bones, and watch God bring life anew back into these previously dead areas. Go ahead. Do it. I dare you.

Dear Lord, thank you so much for the promises that are in Your Word. Thank you, God, that when I call on You, I get answers and solutions and new life breathed into situations that seem dry and barren. Lord, help me to trust that You are with me, even when I look around at all the dry bones and feel despair. I no longer want to complain and grumble, Lord, for I am grateful for my life and all that is in it. Thank you for breathing life and spirit into every single aspect of my life, and help others glorify You when they see big, wonderful changes happening in my life and my attitude. You are great and You are powerful, and I choose to believe that You are currently working supernaturally on my behalf. I believe, Lord, that Your blessings for my “dry bones” of life are right around the corner. Thank you for hearing me, Father, and for guiding me with Your Word. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

 

“If you had been the only person on the earth, Jesus would have gone through all His suffering just for you.” –Joyce Meyer

Not Today, Satan!

As I write this post, the noise level right outside the wall of this room is insane. We are having some home repairs done outside, and it apparently involves jet planes landing ON MY HOUSE and drilling through incredibly thick steel. I’m pretty certain that at any given minute this outer wall is going to cease to exist. Lord, help!

Despite all the noise distractions, let me start by being totally honest: this post isn’t actually for you. This topic isn’t actually for the purpose of public consumption. It’s 110% for me personally. God has really been working on me lately regarding the amount of security I place on the money in our savings account. I know that the Bible teaches us that God wants our all. He wants us to believe in Him, to trust in Him, and to rely on Him first and foremost and above all other things. In some ways, I do this; I get it right. However, where money is concerned, I absolutely do not. More often than not, my comfort and my security come straight from the dollars accumulated in my account. My tension eases any time that number increases. (Or at least I assume it would. That number never increases, so technically, I don’t know for sure.) What I do know is that when I stopped working five years ago, our savings account looked WAY healthier than it does now. And this latest hit to it, this home repair project that we’re currently undertaking, has got me feeling every single thing but joy and peace. I so desperately want that to change, and so today’s post is my attempt to remind myself of God’s promises and His plan, of His power and His presence, and to maybe help anyone else who finds himself/herself overwhelmed by the stresses of this world.

Just to give you some idea of how much God has been working on me about this, let me tell you what all we’ve had to have done to and around our house since we cut our income in half (literally) and went to one income:

  • new hot water heater
  • new thingamajig for the new hot water heater that helps it work better and brings it up to code (isn’t my knowledge remarkable?!)
  • new dishwasher
  • new roof
  • new garage door
  • new garage door opener/motor
  • replacement of various parts/plugs in the Trailblazer and truck, along with multiple sets of new tires
  • large medical bills, mostly from our sweet girl’s early years, including our two-night, multiple-tests-inclusive stay at Arkansas Children’s Hospital a couple of years ago

And this latest project involves siding removal and replacement, gutter removal and replacement, fascia board replacement and repair (don’t worry, you don’t need to know what this is. It’s expensive and labor intensive; that’s the gist of this story), new gutter downspouts (FIVE of those suckers!), and within the first hour and a half, 500 additional dollars were added to our overall cost because the problem was bigger than they initially thought, reaching all the way to the framing boards. What in the actual world?! Needless to say, the stress dreams, tension headaches, and stomach pains have arrived as expected.

Because I have felt my peace and sense of security evaporate over all this mess, I have spent some time trying to remind myself what God promises in His Word, about taking care of us and providing for us. I know, deep down, that I will NEVER feel at peace financially if my security comes from dollars, because life is really dadgum expensive. There will be continual bills and unexpected costs for as long as I live. I also understand that if I place my trust in things other than God, I will forever be disappointed and left with this aching stomach and clinched jaw. I don’t want to live in the “I’ll be happy as soon as we make _______ amount per year,” because as soon as we make that, we’ll find a need for just a little bit more. Life involves living, and as it turns out, living costs money. Scam!

It’s become clear to me over the last few years, thanks to the guidance and clarity of the Holy Spirit, that God has allowed these expenses in our lives because I must give up my grasp on the almighty dollar. If you know me, you likely know that I am a very, very frugal person. Large costs mess me up, especially now, when we’re all living on one income. But God has shown me that as soon as we add a second income, we’ll also have a kid who is older, who’s involved in costly activities, wearing costly clothes, and who will apparently expect to drive her own vehicle one day and attend that wallet-emptier called college. No matter where we are in life financially, if that bank account is where I turn for my peace and my security, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN because there will ALWAYS be costs we can’t anticipate and plan for. And guess what else I’ve learned…Satan knows this! He is such a complete jerk that he knows and exploits just how much peace I derive from knowing my account is cushy. He sneaks around and as soon as we happen upon another repair or expense, he’s there whispering in my ear about how much this costs, how draining this will be on our savings. But he seldom stops there, deciding to up the fear factor by encouraging me to catalog every single thing around this house that might go wrong or that might stop working.

I don’t know about you, but I do NOT want to live like this. I am an adult. I own a home, some vehicles, and I have a child. There will NEVER EVER be a time that something isn’t costing me money. That’s literally all there is to it. I refuse to live in this up-and-down peace that fluctuates to the point of disappearing any time I have to pay money for something. Remember that phrase that Abraham and Sarah used to refer to God: Jehovah-jireh. It means “the Lord who provides,” and my Bible tells me that the same God who provided then is the same God who WILL provide for me now. But because I’m a headcase, I need to see those scriptures; I need to read those promises straight from God’s Word. I need to be able to yell, “NOT TODAY, SATAN!!” when he tries to steal my peace and joy via money, and be able to back it up with scripture that proves why I don’t have to stress and worry about a thing.

I found many verses in the Bible regarding what God promises about our prosperity and/or finances. There were several that helped me see just how involved in my monetary life God is. I couldn’t find room to embed them all in the post, but I thought that those of you struggling with something similar might appreciate seeing several of those promises for yourself. I encourage you to read them out loud. Read them multiple times even. Take a quiet minute to do this, and I know that you’ll feel God speaking to your stresses, just like I felt Him speaking to mine.

Deuteronomy 8:18–But you shall [earnestly] remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth…

Deuteronomy 28:8–The Lord shall command the blessing upon you in your storehouse and all that you undertake. And He will bless you…

Deuteronomy 28:11–And the Lord shall make you have a surplus of prosperity

Psalm 34:10–…they who seek [inquire of and require] the Lord, none of them shall lack any beneficial thing

Luke 6:38–Give, and [gifts] will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over…

2 Corinthians 9:6–He who sows generously will also reap generously and with blessings.

Philippians 4:18-19–I have everything I need and am amply supplied…And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

All of the aforementioned scriptures certainly got the message across, but it wasn’t until I read Matthew 6:25-27 again, in the midst of my stress and angst over money worries, that I really felt myself letting go of at least a little bit of my desire to control my money and my life. These words are straight out of the mouth of our Savior, so read them carefully: “Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure to his stature or to the span of his life? (AMP). You know what? I am more important to God than a bird. You know what? I have never had to go without because God has always provided. You know what? God promises not to neglect us at any time in any way, and He is a promise keeper. You know what? Worry is a sin, and it cripples my faith. Worry doesn’t grow money; it doesn’t eliminate those unexpected costs and expenses; it doesn’t ease my mind. It is a deterrent, keeping me focused on my problems and the situations I’m facing instead of on God and His powers to provide exactly what I need when I need it.

In speaking with a friend about her own money worries recently, I told her to pray about it and let God have it. Needless to say, I also told her to do as I say and not as I do when it comes to this lesson. I encouraged her and her husband to do four things: 1– to pray specifically about their finances, 2–to tithe, 3– to spend their money wisely, and 4–to let God take care of the rest because HE WILL. Now, if I can just get this lesson into my own stubborn brain, I’ll be in much better shape for the rest of my life.

Dear Lord, thank you so very much for all that you continually do for me and all that you continually provide for me and my family. I am so grateful that you are a Provider and that I don’t have to worry about finances because you will lead me and safeguard me. Lord, I ask that you please help me to set aside my worries in all areas but especially right now regarding my finances, and I ask that you help me to focus on you and your promises instead of my anxieties and the lies of the enemy. I will not go without, God, and I know this because you have promised it. Also, Lord, I want a pure heart whose focus is You, not money. In Matthew 6:21 you tell me that wherever my treasure is, there my heart will be also. You, God. You are my treasure. You are my safety and security, and I ask you to please help me recognize this truth and live this truth more and more. You are kind and loving and a giving God, and I am so grateful to be Your child. Thank you for hearing me, for loving me, and providing for my every need. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.