I recently came across a quote online that I thought was hilarious, and, sadly, perfectly fitting for how I’ve been feeling lately. It said, “Welcome to adulthood, I hope you like ibuprofen.” The truth in this silly statement is too accurate. Who knew being this side of 40 could demand so much pain killer?! And those of you “more mature” readers who are tutting and saying things like just you wait, hush your mouths. I do not want to hear it.
In order for you to know where I’m coming from, you need a little background, but I honestly do NOT want to share it. It’s ridiculous. I’d love to tell you that my pain emanates forth from a chronic injury that I received whilst saving ill orphans from near death (they’d all be happy and healthy and flourishing right now, no doubt). But instead, I will tell the truth (booo!). One day, a little over a year ago, I got up off the couch after reading during my daughter’s nap-time and felt like I had taken a HUGE fall straight onto the hardest concrete on my tailbone. It’s never been the same since. (Did you catch that? I got a chronic injury SITTING ON THE COUCH AND READING!) After medical professionals (um, yep, more than one of those guys) determined it wasn’t technically my tailbone but apparently something else undetectable by two MRIs, at least one x-ray, six weeks of twice-a-week physical therapy, and some pretty uncomfortable examining, I decided that there was nothing to do but deal with it…and complain frequently, of course. I am a real person.
After a few months, the tailbone pain was gone, and it stayed gone for quite some time. Until a few weeks ago. Not sure what I did–apparently sitting is WAY more dangerous than I knew–but the exact same tricky pain was back. I knew that going to the doctor wasn’t an option. Not only are those little trips nutso-expensive, but what exactly were they going to tell me this time that they couldn’t tell me the times before? I felt really frustrated and definitely in a funk because the pain was such that it negatively affected my sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable. Plus, I remembered. I remembered what it was like when I had this pain before, and for some inexplicable reason, knowing I’d had it before, knowing I was option-free as far as medical care was concerned, and knowing how uncomfortable I was going to feel until it left of its own accord really snatched my joy away.
Friends, we’ve all been here before, haven’t we? We are hurting…physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. We ache. We press on. We feel burdened. We feel helpless. We reach out to friends or family or doctors or therapists or pastors or even strangers. I was doing the same. I was reading things online. (Did you know that tailbone pain is a possible symptom for a multitude of nefarious diseases? Did you know that it’s possible to have what doctors call “unexplained tailbone pain” that lasts for years and has no real cause or treatment?! What is that mess?) I was complaining to my husband. We were praying about my issue, but with statements like Lord, please help Lindsey’s tailbone pain to go away. While those prayers are certainly better than no prayers, they’re not exactly what you’d call boldly approaching the throne of God. Then, after we prayed, I’d wake up the next morning mentally crossing my fingers that I’d suddenly be healed and all would be well. You’ve been there, too, right? You wake up each day so hopeful that your ailments from the night before are no longer. Then you realize they’re fully present. You still hurt…physically or mentally or emotionally (or all three). And now, because you feel like God’s not heard you, because you feel alone in your pain, you hurt spiritually. Your pain grows. And doubt and unbelief grow.
I’m saddened that it took me until this point to realize I had consulted everyone but God (aside from a quick prayer for healing) regarding my need for pain relief. I knew that I needed to get real serious with my prayers, but I felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting me to see what the Bible said about healing first. So, I got my pen and my notebook and copied down all the verses that my Bible categorized as dealing with “Health and Healing.” (For those of you dealing with your own pain and interested in these scriptures, I’ll type them up for you at the bottom of this post, underneath our closing prayer.) What I found in these scriptures was a promise from God Himself to be with me, to renew my body so that I could rejoice in the glory of His healing.
Here’s what the first day of my newfound strategy for jump-starting my healing looked like: Wake up. Realize tailbone is not healed. Instead of getting bogged down in woe-is-me attitude, decide to read those scriptures out loud and believe for my healing. Read said scriptures. Wait 25 seconds. Do quick assessment in which I realize no angels visited and healed me, no bright lights shone, and nothing feels differently. Allow more negative thoughts to creep in while muttering such uplifting phrases as healing shmealing and yeah, right. I’m not a total dunce, so it didn’t take me long to figure out that this wasn’t going to work. I decided to keep doing what I was doing right, which was praying sincerely and speaking scripture out loud over my need. The attitude, however, had to go.
I had 11 verses that I used, but it was Isaiah 58:8 that I clung to most. It reads, “Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration…) shall spring forth speedily.” The speedily part was definitely what I liked best about this verse, but I realized with each reading that my biggest problem was that I fully expected God to work immediately, not speedily. I expected immediate gratification from a God whose timetable has never been our own. I’ve written past posts about what it means to wait on God, how important it is, because His timing isn’t ours and what’s lengthy to us is but a drop in the bucket for Him. Yet when hurting, no amount of relief mattered and no timetable mattered to me if it wasn’t full and immediate. Of all those 11 verses my Bible grouped for me, would you believe that not a single one said anything about healing coming immediately OR all at once?
I had gotten so selfish in my thinking, and I don’t even really know how or why or when it happened. I had somehow decided that healing only counted if it was instant and complete at the moment I prayed. I was giving no thought and no praise to God for that morning when I woke up and still hurt, but it hurt less than the day before. God literally had to say to me, just because you’re not 100% doesn’t mean I’m not working. Just because you’re not healed all at once doesn’t mean I’m not working on you and binding up those wounds you’re praying over (Psalm 147:3). Why did it take me so long to get that? Why was I shocked at this simple revelation? God is working. God is moving. I’m hurting, but that doesn’t mean God’s not in the process of fixing me. I asked; He’s mid-answer, but I’m so busy grumbling I don’t even notice or hear Him.
And this isn’t just the way it works for those of us suffering physical pain. Some of us are in the throes of gut-wrenching emotional pain. Some of us physically hurt because our mental anguish is so fierce. God is working, y’all. If you’ve come before Him and called on Him to heal your hurting spirit or your hurting heart, HE IS WORKING FOR YOU RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. You may not feel better tomorrow, but He’s still at work within you. It might take a little bit, but don’t do what I’ve done and assume that because He doesn’t fix you the second you pray and your pain relief is only gradual that He’s busy doing other things. He’s not. He feels what you feel. He understands, and He’s actively involved in healing you. All of you. Aches and hurts and wounds you have carried for years or maybe didn’t even know you’ve had.
I felt the peace come over me, that glorious internal peace found only in walking alongside God and His will, as soon as I decided to quit trying to make God so “on or off,” when I quit pushing my pitiful, impatient timetable onto Him. When I simply kept up the Biblical strategies of bold prayer and speaking scripture but left everything else to Him. That was about two to three weeks ago. I’m not 100%, but I’m honestly 95% better than I was then. If you’re hurting, no matter what kind of pain you’re struggling with, hand it over. Seek those doctors and specialists (but only after praying for God’s guidance about what to do and where to go and who to see!), but don’t expect human healing before expecting supernatural healing from the ultimate Physician and Healer. And maybe our most important lesson of all, in anything really, is that feeling God working and believing God is working may not be mutually exclusive. It’s our job as His children to believe BEFORE we feel. Slow progress is still progress.
(Just a reminder that below the prayer are the scriptures my Bible listed under “Health and Healing” if you’re interested.)
Dear Lord, thank you so much for all the promises You’ve made to me within Your Word regarding healing. Thank you that when I come to You for healing, You WILL heal me. Help me to trust Your ways and not attempt to put human constraints around the ways in which You work. Help me to choose belief, even before I start feeling any better. Be with my pain, Lord, and take it away completely. Give me the strength and good countenance to endure it well while You work full healing in my life. I trust you, Lord. I know that You are at work. In advance, I thank you and praise You for my healing, which I know is right around the corner. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.
Health and Healing Scriptures
Psalm 30:2–O Lord my God, I cried to You and You have healed me.
Psalm 103:3–…Who heals [each one of] all your diseases
Psalm 107:20–He sends forth His Word and heals them and rescues them from the pit and destruction.
Psalm 147:3–He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].
Proverbs 4:22–[My Words] are life to those who find them and health to all their flesh.
Isaiah 58:8–Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration…) shall spring forth speedily.
Jeremiah 17:14–Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.
Jeremiah 30:17–For I will restore health to you, and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord.
James 5:15–And the prayer [that is] of faith will save him who is sick, and the Lord will restore him
I Peter 2:24–By His wounds, you have been healed.
3 John 2–…that you may prosper in every way and that [your body] may keep well…